Patience among NBA fans is in short supply to begin with, and it can run out especially quickly when a season gets off to a rough start for reasons that were foreseeable over the summer.
But enough about the Los Angeles Lakers and their increasingly concerned supporters, or the Philly fans who are already looking to buy batteries in bulk.
Leave it up to the masses, and half the players in the league would have already been traded, waived or forced to make public apologies. Fortunately, front offices have more restraint than fans who observe two weeks of action and decide the season and everyone involved with it is either doomed or destined for greatness—no in-between.
Having said all that, let's indulge the restless by cooking up way-too-early (in many cases literally way-too-early because many offseason signees can't be dealt until Dec. 15) trades. All of these are designed to address an actual roster need, and the hope is to make them as plausible as possible. Ideally, the best criticism fans will be able to make about them is that they haven't already happened.
The Westbrook Trade Everyone's Been Talking About for Months
The Trade: Los Angeles Lakers receive Myles Turner and Buddy Hield from the Indiana Pacers for Russell Westbrook and two unprotected first-round picks.
If you haven't come across this oft-rumored, long-discussed hypothetical swap by now, there's a good chance you're still using a dial-up modem to connect to the internet. It's just been sitting out there as the obvious quick fix for months.
This deal has some undeniable points in its favor, and one can sympathize with a desperate and frustrated Lakers fanbase that would view almost any change to the team's current state as an improvement. Turner and Hield would add two bona fide NBA starters to a roster that lacks them outside of LeBron James and Anthony Davis, and Hield is the kind of floor-warping three-point shooter who could punish paint-packing defenses. What better addition to the league's worst three-point-shooting team than the guy who's canned more treys (at a 39.8 percent clip, no less) than anyone not named Stephen Curry or James Harden since he entered the league in 2016-17?
There's probably even value to the franchise in not having to discuss Westbrook's fit, performance and happiness during every interaction with the media.
And yet, this is still a deal the Lakers should avoid. Their fans will clamor for it because an 0-4 start means the 2022-23 season is already circling the drain, which is why it belongs in this exercise. But, objectively, it doesn't improve the team enough to justify the cost of surrendering 2027 and 2029 first-rounders.
The fit between Turner and Anthony Davis up front could be dicey, and if the misguided Lakers somehow believe this deal will get them into playoff position, there's still the matter of Hield giving opposing offenses an obvious weak point to attack in a postseason series. It'd address the team's biggest current problem, Westbrook's damaging and increasingly untenable presence on the roster, but so would simply telling Russ to quit coming to work.
That second route would at least preserve the picks, L.A.'s only escape pods on this nosediving ship.
The Lakers aren't going to make louder playoff noise (if they can even get there in the first place) with Hield and Turner than they would with their current roster sans Westbrook. If they sacrifice the only two future first-rounders they're currently allowed to trade in exchange for an inconsequential short-term upgrade, it could doom them for the next decade.
The Suns Get Something for Nothing
The Trade: Phoenix Suns receive Grayson Allen from the Milwaukee Bucks for Jae Crowder
The notion of opportunity cost means it's not quite right to say the Suns would get something for nothing by trading Crowder, who's contributing zero to the team while he awaits a deal. But every game that goes by with Crowder logging a "DNP-Mad About Contract Extension" is one Phoenix can't get back.
Despite all the offseason drama of Deandre Ayton's restricted free agency, owner Robert Sarver's plan to sell the team and, yes, Crowder's no-show, the Suns are good! Filling the Crowder void could make them great.
Maybe they won't win another 64 games, but they ought to be in the hunt for at least 55 victories, and that imparts some urgency—not the sky-is-falling panic Lakers fans are feeling, but an uneasiness tied to the idea of waste. Phoenix might be one rotation player away from warranting favorite status in a Western Conference defined this year by its parity. Granted, the Suns could wait until offseason signings are eligible to be dealt on December 15, which would deepen their pool of options. But fans in a panic aren't patient or rational, and a deal for Allen would bring instant gratification.
The Bucks are also a contender, and there's no such thing as too many tough, versatile defenders on a roster with championship designs. Crowder would give Milwaukee another big-wing body to throw at the Jayson Tatums of the world in the playoffs. Losing Allen would cost the Bucks one of their most dangerous shooters, but recency bias—Allen hit just five of his 24 deep attempts and didn't defend anybody in Milwaukee's conference semifinals loss to the Boston Celtics—could help grease the trade skids.
Phoenix is once again near the bottom of the league in three-point attempt frequency, ranking 26th through its first four games after checking in at No. 25 a year ago. Some of that owes to a personnel grouping led by Chris Paul and Devin Booker that excels in the mid-range area, but maybe the Suns would get up a few more triples if they had a specialist on the roster toting a career long-range hit rate of 39.0 percent.